Themes/Triggers: self-harm, depression, anxiety, PTSD, suicide, abuse, mental health, addiction, homelessness, recovery, community, self-love and acceptance.
Synopsis & Review: Charlotte Davis is a 17 year old girl who has lost friends and family in ways unbearable - more then most people lose in a lifetime. She can not cope with the pain and sorrow and finds release in harming herself as an outlet for her emotional turmoil. Charlotte has a troubled relationship with herself and her mother; she feels misplaced, lonely and unwanted. Heading for the edge seems inevitable until she must find her way back.
This was a cold and heavy read. It gets into the hard-hitting issues instantly, which I found too deep and difficult at first but that's what this book is - it's raw and it's intense.
I think there's a huge audience who won't be able to engage with this story or the characters unless they have personally experienced similar issues. Sometimes unexperienced situations and emotions are difficult to comprehend. Charlie's story is not unrealistic but it is rare - it's not often that literally everything goes wrong in a person's life. For some, Charlie's voice will be of hope and encouragement.
Personally I thought the writing style was very vague and non-descriptive but as an afterthought it was an honest reflection of Charlie's vulnerability and state of mind. It was inspiring to see her character development throughout the book, from Charlie's sense of hopelessness and need of attachment to survive, to purely surviving and living for herself. There were parts of the story where I was screaming at Charlie to stop repeating the same mistakes and thinking she should know better, but I had to remind myself that she is a young impressionable girl just wanting to be loved.
What I enjoyed most about this book was the recovery aspect. In particular the message that there is no such thing as 'all the way better.' There is no endpoint to recovery; it's a continuous process with highs and lows. Charlie's story is an insight into what it's like to live with scars (physical, psychological and emotional) and how we can manage and better ourselves from them. Anyone in a form of recovery will identify with this message and appreciate that although we can bring order to our lives and work to improve our wellbeing, the possibility of relapse always lingers. There definitely needs to be more awareness to this aspect of recovery and this book does not fail to plant and deliver the idea.
I also really enjoyed the plot of following Charlie on her journey after therapy. It was refreshing to see her put beneficial coping techniques to use in the simplest ways and eye-opening to see how much work she had to put into herself to find a sense of direction. It's a painful story of letting go of harmful comfort behaviours and finding the strength to fight the darkness.
This book is not meant for a pleasant reading experience, it is a devastating but important book. I would recommend you do some background reading and make sure you're in a healthy mental space before getting into this. I have to say, the author's note at the end was a touching highlight and brought even more truth to this incredible story.
Rating: 4.5/5
Favourite Quote:
'...for a long time, you gather your pieces. And it takes such a very long time, not to fit them back together, but to assemble them in a new way, not necessarily a better way. More, a way you can live with until you know for certain that this piece should go there, and that one there.'
Note: If you are affected by any of the topics mentioned in this post, please reach out, communicate and seek help. There is always someone to listen.
Some useful links;
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/crisis-services/helplines-listening-services/
https://giveusashout.org/
https://www.selfinjurysupport.org.uk/
Comments